Post by Heather Stripes on Jul 9, 2013 22:40:55 GMT -5
{Our scene opens up to the Starr & Stripes beauty salon. The salon seems to be a bit busy as all the chairs are currently occupied with extra people lined up outside the door waiting to get their hair done by random named hair stylists named Francesco and Enrico complete with the lisp but that’s beside the point. We are taken to Heather’s chair and it is there where we are able to see the bodyguard for Starr & Stripes sitting down in the chair waiting to get his hair trimmed. He is reading Cosmopolitan magazine and opens it to a spread of Addisyn putting a ice cream sandwich in her mouth. Tyrone stares at it intensely as Heather looks for a pair of scissors.
Heather: That is an interesting picture of my best friend. She sure has a habit of putting things in her mouth.
Tyrone: Actually... I wasn’t looking at the picture of her. You see that ice cream sandwich. I am trying to determine if it’s made by turkey hill or Klondike...
{Heather rolls her eyes as she glances back at Heather as she runs her fingers through her own hair as she looks back at Tyrone.}
Heather: You have a hot girl in front of you in bikini and you are worried about the type of ice cream she is eating?! That doesn’t even make sense!
{Tyrone doesn’t pay any attention to her as he begins to speak his thoughts out loud to himself.}
Tyrone: I am going to go on a limb and say Turkey Hill. She probably thought Turkey meant a potential drumstick and would have tried to put it into her mouth the first chance she got.
{Heather just rolls her eyes as she looks at her counter and grabs a big pair of scissors. She holds it up smiling as she clamps it together staring at Tyrone’s head.}
Heather: So are you ready for a little Snip, Snip, Clipping?!
{Tyrone just nonchalantly turns the page in the book as he smiles at a new section.}
Tyrone: Ahhh the top ten ways for a woman to keep their man. This seems interesting. Think I will have a glance at this and afterwards check out the latest trends in fashion.
{Heather begins to get upset as she stomps her feet up and down trying to get his attention.}
Heather: Hello Tyrone... Anyone there?! Are you ready for your biweekly Snip, Snip, Clip or not?!
{Tyrone closes the book as he looks back at Heather.}
Tyrone: Remember how you said it didn’t make sense of me reading the Cosmo? You want to know what doesn’t make sense? You repeatedly trying to cut my hair every two weeks.
Heather: And why doesn’t it make sense?!
Tyrone: Because I am bald...
Heather: OH...
{Is all Heather can say as she thinks about it for a few moments.}
Heather: So if that’s the case why do you always keep coming to my chair all the time? I thought you wanted a little of the Snip, Snip, and Clip.
Tyrone: Your store has all the latest magazines in useless female culture. I figured I come here and give the latest issues a read. It’s cheaper than actually subscribing to these books, and you have a really comfortable chair. Good for the back. Is it therapeutic...
Heather: You honestly can’t be asking about a fucking chair...
{Tyrone just shrugs it off as he begins to read the magazine some more as he does. Addisyn walks into focus as she smirks at Heather.}
Addisyn: Oh it looks like business is doing well... Are those the CPW cameras?! You didn’t tell me they were going to be here...
Heather: Yeah what about them?!
Addisyn: Who want’s to see me stuff 5 blow pops in my mouth...
{Addisyn happily runs off camera leaving Heather clamping them tightly together as she stares deeply into the camera.}
Heather: Ummm Snip, Snip, Clip anymore.... Really anyone?
{She says as we fade out on that image.}
Well I’ll be. Last week went exactly the way that I wanted it to go. It was my very first week on being a member of this illustrious roster and already I have single handedly knocked off one of the best female wrestlers in the world in Crystal Hilton. What happened last week was simply just the beginning. There is surely going to be more to follow and it pleasures me that I am undefeated within the ring. I am not going to stop until I go through every single Siren on this roster and groom them to a point that they will eventually be worthy enough of being in the same ring as me.
This week I get to step in the ring with Argentina’s very own Mercedes Vargas. A woman who knew little to no English until she eventually moved to this country and got a college degree and all that jazz. Honestly to be blunt who the hell cares if you got a communications degree. I got a degree in Snip, Snip, Clipping do you hear me bragging about it?!
Actually I will brag because I have every right to do so, but enough about me. Let’s talk about you Mercedes. You probably think you are the absolute best thing in the world. You won a match that was set to favor you from the beginning. Everyone knew that stupid Latina ugly hair having fish was going to screw over the nurse. Everyone knew you were going to walk out of that match as the winner and sitting in position for a shot at the Siren’s Championship but that doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. You won that match and in the very next week you lost to the likes of Roxi Johnson.
You lost to a woman who likes to pretend that she is an actual superhero. I hate to break it to you Mercedes but you are extremely worthless and you honestly remind me of a used car battery. Sometimes you seem great you are running on all cylinders giving it your very all to win your match and going out of your way to pick up a win, and in the next minute you don’t have any juice to you. You half assed it and are a victim of life support which would explain losing to Roxi Johnson. I have nothing against Roxi but you were the number one contender going into that match. You were the one with the momentum of apparently taking it to Cynthia and winning.
But of course you fumbled it. You dropped the ball and lost to someone you had no business at losing too.
Another thing that strikes me about you is that you honestly think you are quite the quirky individual. One who likes to talk about video games when facing Zelda. Talks about Super Hero stuff when facing Roxi and the list goes on and on. Since when did a communications channel into you being the queen of all pop culture that allows you to magically adjust to whoever you are facing and use their own love of pop culture against them?
You might think it’s awesome and really cute but at the end of the day it’s absolutely pathetic.
My question is what Mercedes Vargas am I going to get this week? Actually don’t answer that, and don’t even bother trying to use some stuff you found out of a grooming book against me. Just like the scissors that I proudly love bringing to the ring I am going to tell you exactly what I am going to do this week.
I am going to CUT you apart. I am going to CUT you at the right at the seams and get to the ROOT of your problems. It’s going to start with your inconsistent wrestling career and I am going to work all the way up to those split ends on your hair. Your hair would make a mighty fine wig if I do say so myself.
This week I will CUT the line of rising up through the ranks. I am going straight to the top. After all beating the number one contender for the championship is one way to get noticed right?
Nothing will stop me from being undefeated, and nothing can stop me from getting what I want. Prepare yourself Vargas because this week it’s going to be non stop SNIP, SNIP, AND THE CLIP...
Look out it’s CUTTING TIME....
Heather: That is an interesting picture of my best friend. She sure has a habit of putting things in her mouth.
Tyrone: Actually... I wasn’t looking at the picture of her. You see that ice cream sandwich. I am trying to determine if it’s made by turkey hill or Klondike...
{Heather rolls her eyes as she glances back at Heather as she runs her fingers through her own hair as she looks back at Tyrone.}
Heather: You have a hot girl in front of you in bikini and you are worried about the type of ice cream she is eating?! That doesn’t even make sense!
{Tyrone doesn’t pay any attention to her as he begins to speak his thoughts out loud to himself.}
Tyrone: I am going to go on a limb and say Turkey Hill. She probably thought Turkey meant a potential drumstick and would have tried to put it into her mouth the first chance she got.
{Heather just rolls her eyes as she looks at her counter and grabs a big pair of scissors. She holds it up smiling as she clamps it together staring at Tyrone’s head.}
Heather: So are you ready for a little Snip, Snip, Clipping?!
{Tyrone just nonchalantly turns the page in the book as he smiles at a new section.}
Tyrone: Ahhh the top ten ways for a woman to keep their man. This seems interesting. Think I will have a glance at this and afterwards check out the latest trends in fashion.
{Heather begins to get upset as she stomps her feet up and down trying to get his attention.}
Heather: Hello Tyrone... Anyone there?! Are you ready for your biweekly Snip, Snip, Clip or not?!
{Tyrone closes the book as he looks back at Heather.}
Tyrone: Remember how you said it didn’t make sense of me reading the Cosmo? You want to know what doesn’t make sense? You repeatedly trying to cut my hair every two weeks.
Heather: And why doesn’t it make sense?!
Tyrone: Because I am bald...
Heather: OH...
{Is all Heather can say as she thinks about it for a few moments.}
Heather: So if that’s the case why do you always keep coming to my chair all the time? I thought you wanted a little of the Snip, Snip, and Clip.
Tyrone: Your store has all the latest magazines in useless female culture. I figured I come here and give the latest issues a read. It’s cheaper than actually subscribing to these books, and you have a really comfortable chair. Good for the back. Is it therapeutic...
Heather: You honestly can’t be asking about a fucking chair...
{Tyrone just shrugs it off as he begins to read the magazine some more as he does. Addisyn walks into focus as she smirks at Heather.}
Addisyn: Oh it looks like business is doing well... Are those the CPW cameras?! You didn’t tell me they were going to be here...
Heather: Yeah what about them?!
Addisyn: Who want’s to see me stuff 5 blow pops in my mouth...
{Addisyn happily runs off camera leaving Heather clamping them tightly together as she stares deeply into the camera.}
Heather: Ummm Snip, Snip, Clip anymore.... Really anyone?
{She says as we fade out on that image.}
Well I’ll be. Last week went exactly the way that I wanted it to go. It was my very first week on being a member of this illustrious roster and already I have single handedly knocked off one of the best female wrestlers in the world in Crystal Hilton. What happened last week was simply just the beginning. There is surely going to be more to follow and it pleasures me that I am undefeated within the ring. I am not going to stop until I go through every single Siren on this roster and groom them to a point that they will eventually be worthy enough of being in the same ring as me.
This week I get to step in the ring with Argentina’s very own Mercedes Vargas. A woman who knew little to no English until she eventually moved to this country and got a college degree and all that jazz. Honestly to be blunt who the hell cares if you got a communications degree. I got a degree in Snip, Snip, Clipping do you hear me bragging about it?!
Actually I will brag because I have every right to do so, but enough about me. Let’s talk about you Mercedes. You probably think you are the absolute best thing in the world. You won a match that was set to favor you from the beginning. Everyone knew that stupid Latina ugly hair having fish was going to screw over the nurse. Everyone knew you were going to walk out of that match as the winner and sitting in position for a shot at the Siren’s Championship but that doesn’t make you any better than anyone else. You won that match and in the very next week you lost to the likes of Roxi Johnson.
You lost to a woman who likes to pretend that she is an actual superhero. I hate to break it to you Mercedes but you are extremely worthless and you honestly remind me of a used car battery. Sometimes you seem great you are running on all cylinders giving it your very all to win your match and going out of your way to pick up a win, and in the next minute you don’t have any juice to you. You half assed it and are a victim of life support which would explain losing to Roxi Johnson. I have nothing against Roxi but you were the number one contender going into that match. You were the one with the momentum of apparently taking it to Cynthia and winning.
But of course you fumbled it. You dropped the ball and lost to someone you had no business at losing too.
Another thing that strikes me about you is that you honestly think you are quite the quirky individual. One who likes to talk about video games when facing Zelda. Talks about Super Hero stuff when facing Roxi and the list goes on and on. Since when did a communications channel into you being the queen of all pop culture that allows you to magically adjust to whoever you are facing and use their own love of pop culture against them?
You might think it’s awesome and really cute but at the end of the day it’s absolutely pathetic.
My question is what Mercedes Vargas am I going to get this week? Actually don’t answer that, and don’t even bother trying to use some stuff you found out of a grooming book against me. Just like the scissors that I proudly love bringing to the ring I am going to tell you exactly what I am going to do this week.
I am going to CUT you apart. I am going to CUT you at the right at the seams and get to the ROOT of your problems. It’s going to start with your inconsistent wrestling career and I am going to work all the way up to those split ends on your hair. Your hair would make a mighty fine wig if I do say so myself.
This week I will CUT the line of rising up through the ranks. I am going straight to the top. After all beating the number one contender for the championship is one way to get noticed right?
Nothing will stop me from being undefeated, and nothing can stop me from getting what I want. Prepare yourself Vargas because this week it’s going to be non stop SNIP, SNIP, AND THE CLIP...
Look out it’s CUTTING TIME....